sleepy sleepy

I am so super sleepy. I took a benedryl because I was all itchy and congested feeling and it is kicking my ass in a not so fun way. Today is “Bring Your Child To Work” Day. It is Lhiannan’s favorite day of the year because for some reason she really likes it here in my office. I can’t figure out why, but she does…

Tonight Temperance, Shawn, Dennis, and I are driving down to the Palm Springs area for Coachella. We are trying to make it early enough for the ‘Early Bird Specials’. Basically, we are going to leave around midnight and Shawn is going to drive straight through while the rest of us sleep. We will wake up in sunny southern California. They rented a giant SUV thing for us to ride down in. I’m not looking forward to the drive because I like to drive too much and I won’t get to and I get very bored on long driving trips when I’m not driving. I’m starting to feel like a control freak. I think I might sneak a bottle of something into the car so I can at least get silly drunk on the way down.

I’m having a hard time making my schedule for Coachella. For example, I don’t want to have to chose between Depeche Mode and She Wants Revenge. No one will like the fact that I will easily see SWR over Depeche Mode but I’m willing to ditch them all for it. Shawn was arguing that SWR will be in Sacramento in June, but I don’t feel like waiting to see them. I feel like I’ve already missed enough of their shows and I don’t want to miss this one.

My eyes keep loosing focus on the screen since I’m sleepy. 15 more minutes and I can go home. Thankfully. I technically have a ton of stuff to do tonight: packing, packing, and packing. I’m supposed to take Josh his camera (and steal his memory card) and I have to hit both my savings bank (only ATM in California is across the Nationwide campus) and my regular checking (USBank) for emergency withdrawl/deposits. I have to get myself and the kids ready.

Fuck I’m too sleepy to type. I thought this might keep me awake a little longer, but it isn’t working at all.

People Brew Own Gas To Beat Pump Prices

WASHINGTON -- Some people have become so desperate to find cheaper fuel for their cars they've begun making ethanol at home.
There are dozens of Web sites explaining how to make ethanol from homemade stills.
Bill Sasher, owner of a Tennessee company that sells ethanol stills and kits, said that once you're set up it costs about 75 cents a gallon to brew your own fuel.
Sasher said that with gas prices nationally closing in on $3 a gallon, his business is booming
Most cars can run on a mixture of ethanol and gasoline, and the new flex fuel cars can run on 85 percent ethanol or regular gasoline.

4.24.2006

Horoscopes For Today: 4/24/2006
It's pretty hard to plan for the future when you don't have a solid
understanding of what's happening in the present. Oh sure, you kind of have an idea of what's going on -- heck, you know as much as most people do. But you are a deep, psychologically insightful person, and you have the tools to really, truly grasp what your current world looks like. If you do this, then you greatly enhance the chances that the plans you make will be relevant and effective. So go to it!

Seriously, I don’t have the slightest clue what’s going on in any aspect of my life. “Solid understanding”? I wish. I’m not sure exactly when I lost a grip on things…or more realistically, I don’t know if I ever actually had a grip on them (sometimes I’m pretty good at faking it.)

One day at a time, right?

After much thought I have finally decided that it is time to start taking steps to prepare myself for spinsterhood because, god damn do I feel old these days. With that said, I’ve decided to get a kitten. I figure that since nothing I do has made the cat smell from Carmen’s apartment go away that I might as well give in and start early collecting cats. And of course, kittens are cuter than cats to begin with.

The problem here is that every cat I’ve ever had has either been completely insane or gone insane at some point in it’s life. The last two that I remember are Psycho, a cute skinny black kitty who one day got a plastic bag stuck around it’s neck like a cape and ran around the house trying to escape it meanwhile being scared to death by the crinkly sound it made and eventually slammed itself against the sliding glass door at my moms house and peed all over itself. That cat was never, ever the same again and we eventually had to give it away. The last kitty was Edgar, somehow related to Oddball, Damon’s cat. Edgar was a really big muscular grey kitty who was really, really into self-gratification. I know for a fact that he wasn’t weaned too early so I’m not sure why he did it, but he would sit for hours sucking himself off. It got to the point where it was so embarrassing (every time someone came to visit he would jump in their lap and start going at it with himself) that I made him an outdoor kitty. A few friends started asking if they could take him to parties (ew?) and eventually Edgar started roaming the neighborhood and one day never came back.

Hopefully I will have better luck with my future kitty.

04.19.2006

Horoscopes For Today: 4/19/2006
Today you take the reins. Maybe you're on a carousel riding your favorite lilac horse next to your sweetie pie, who is riding their favorite sea-foam green dragon. Maybe you're the office's version of an old-fashioned stagecoach driver. Either way, you've got everything (including your trusty steed) under control. The golden ring is going to hit its mark! The carousel bell is going to ring! The mail is going to arrive! Whew.

Here is further proof that the author of my horoscopes is taking a lot of Prozac. Lilac horse? That makes me giggle in a not so good way. It smacks of Alice in Wonderland. Leave it to me to follow around a stupid rabbit. With that said, I wonder if they have a lilac horse on the carousel in the plaza?

What could be better than imagining myself on a lilac horse? FRANK DOES IKEA!

I feel about a million times better after hearing the following:

Frank also got lost and ended up all the way at the Mace exit before turning around. Frank only lives 10 minutes from Ikea, but managed to screw it up just like me.

Frank also had problems purchasing any actual items and will have to make another trip for replacement parts. He bought a bed and dresser for his sister (I made sure he didn’t buy my bed, because if I can’t have it no one can) but when they took it home to put it together it was missing many screws. Ikea was ‘out’ of screws…

Frank got lost inside of Ikea. They do provide you with a map when you walk in for a reason. That place is like the Disneyland of homemakers.

Frank was too ‘disgusted’ to try out the restaurant. Every time I go it is already closed and it’s not like I would eat a Swedish meatball anyway, but still.


Did I mention Ikea has childcare? Yeah. I’ve considered going there when I need alone time and dropping my kids off in the play area and taking a book upstairs to one of the model homes and pretending I lived there. It could work.

Other things of note:

Yesterday, April 18, I received a birthday card from my work. It’s one of those cards that gets passed around and signed by everyone. Other than being a few weeks late…I noticed that it was signed by someone who hasn’t worked here since March. Also, it’s a Christian card. Hrm. Regardless, I am somehow thankful. It makes me laugh to know that my office has a ‘birthday committee’ and they still can’t get it right.

This morning Frank and I were taking boxes downstairs so that I can hole up in the storage room for the rest of the day and as soon as we stepped off the elevator we ran right into the middle of a job fair in the lobby. Neither one of us is invited or allowed to attend. The job fair is for ‘effected employees only’. Also, we were not allowed to attend the interview sessions (where they practice interviewing with you) nor the resume writing workshop thing. I could have benefited from both. I interview prospective employees but I haven’t had to be on the other side of the table in a long time. I also have no idea how to include the gigantic amount of functions that I currently have into a readable resume. What bothered me and led Frank and I to a 30 minute bitch session, was that by the time we get our pink slips these things will no longer be offered. Our HR rep is being laid off effective July 1, so who will organize a job fair for us? Who will create snazzy binders with our resumes? No one.

Enough venting, I should do some work.

mmmm

Two good things have happened to me today and it’s only 9:30 am. Maybe this is a sign of things to come? Maybe life is giving me a break!

Right.

Good thing #1: I had to forgo coffee this morning in order to make it to work on time. It was not an easy decision but it was already 7:55 when I dropped off Aislin and I have to be at work by 8. I get to work and my boss and I prepare to make actual drip coffee. (I don’t drink this too often.) We find out that not only is there only decaf, there isn’t even enough decaf to make any coffee. She seriously wanted to put just whole coffee beans in with the very little amount of ground coffee that we had and I had to spend 10 minutes explaining to her that it was not only bad, but a stupid idea. We cried a little. She went to a meeting coffee free and I snuck down to the Grapevine Café. For the record, I hate the Grapevine Café. They have a “Starbucks” inside, but it’s really just a corporate cafeteria with a Starbucks kiosk. Usually, the coffee is terrible. But today…she made me a PERFECT cappuccino. Seriously, perfect. I’m savoring it right this minute.

Good thing #2: While I was waiting for her to make my coffee I stared idly at the grill. My tummy was growling. I was hungry. Their food is expensive and I almost never eat there. Temptation overtook me and I had her make me an egg and cheese croissant. I take it to the cash register and there is a new person (maybe not new; I haven’t been there in awhile…) working there. She looks at my pathetic croissant and tells me “that is expensive you know”. BUT! Because it was a sad little vegetarian croissant she only charged me for the egg, the cheese, and ‘bread’. I paid $1.70 for a $3.75 croissant.

I may actually start patronizing the Grapevine again. I won’t actually eat my food there with all the Allied corporate drone people because they make me sad, but I may start buying food there again.

Misc. work pictures

Sonia decorated my desk. I charged a cover for people to come and talk to me. I made $0.00.

Not only am I on the phone, my eyes are rolled up in my head AND I have a mouth full of cookies. Sexy.

Adrianna, Sonia, Me

Adrianna, Brynna, Me

My absolute favorite picture of all time. Frank is mad that he looks fucked up in this picture but was in fact completely sober and therefore feels cheated out of something. Sonia made over 30 copies of this picture and wallpapered his desk, my desk, her desk. There will pictures hidden in buckets around my cube. I had it saved as the background on my computer at work. It's no wonder he hates us.

4.17.06

April 17, 2006Enjoying The ProcessAries Daily Horoscope
You may feel impatient with yourself today. It’s possible that you are placing unrealistic expectations on yourself, which could cause you to appear irritable to others. Making time to calm your emotions and organize your thoughts will allow you to feel balanced and composed. You might consider engaging in activities that that can help you achieve a more harmonious mind-set—such as meditation, journaling, or visual imagery—so that you can stay centered regardless of what’s going on around you. Reevaluating your goals today might also be helpful. You can see where you might be putting undue pressure on yourself and come up with more realistic expectations. Releasing our unrealistic expectations and pursuing our goals at a reasonable pace can ease our impatience and give us a sense of peace. While our drive to succeed is an admirable motivation, we often place harsher demands upon ourselves than we would on others. Rather than trying to pressure ourselves into success, we can choose to take a more gradual, relaxed approach to our goals. Releasing our expectations allows us to more fully enjoy the journey without worrying so much about the outcome, and we begin to see that our dreams do manifest in their own time. Adopting a consciously peaceful mind-set can improve our focus and allow us to navigate challenges calmly and effectively. Ease up on any pressure you may be placing on yourself today, and you will manifest success effortlessly and with greater enjoyment.

From now on I think I’ll keep using Jonathan’s recommended horoscope. It’s not nearly as lame as my usual brand which today spoke about being a team player because everyone already knows I’m a hero. Right…I’d much rather be a sidekick than a hero because for some reason they are way cooler. Besides, the actual application of my normal horoscope seems stupid:

“Stephanie’s fax machine is broken. She could be the hero and fix it and be done with it, but instead she should be a team player and call IT so they can call Ray Morgan to send a driver over to fix it in two weeks.”

Re-evaluating my goals is not an entirely bad idea. I used to have tons of goals (because I had a lot of free time?) and now I can’t think of a single one. It makes me sad because I feel lost.

4.12.06

April 12, 2006
Proactive Interactions
Aries Daily Horoscope
You may feel indecisive when it comes to your
relationships today. Perhaps you are unsure about making a bigger commitment or
feeling nervous about losing your independence. You might also have questions
about the quality of your relationships and their potential for long-term
success. If you take some time to explore these feelings further today, you
might be able to gain a greater sense of clarity about what you truly want and
how you can achieve it. If you can understand that you don’t have to give up
your independence in order to make a bigger commitment, you might think about
ways you can fulfill your needs while deepening your connections with others.

Reflecting on the quality and direction of our relationships can give us a
greater perspective about the ways our connections with others enhance our
lives. We often are afraid of taking our relationships to the next level of
intimacy because we are afraid of how our lives will have to change. Rather than
fearing a negative outcome, we can choose to be more proactive in creating the
kinds of relationships we desire. We can then be sure we aren’t losing ourselves
in the process because we are creating relationships that allow us to retain our
independence and identity. Choosing to approach your relationships with a clear
understanding of what you want will allow you to ease your feelings of
indecisiveness and be more proactive in your interactions today.

I’m trying out Jonathan’s suggested horoscopes today because my usual brand is getting flat out lame. I’m not really thrilled with this one today either, but whatever. I like the font… I do think it’s funny though, considering how uncomfortable I am with a certain out of town visitor this week. Besides, I’ve just gained back my independence, I’m not looking to give it away yet. I no longer have to ask permission to talk to my friends or to eat lunch out with coworkers. I can answer my phone whenever I want. Being single can be joyous like that.

Today is going to be a crappy day. I was 50 minutes late for work. I’ve been late almost everyday. I must have slept weird because my neck hurts super bad. Since I was late, no time to get coffee this morning and I’m already going through caffeine withdrawals…the headache is setting in. I tried to drink the coffee Emma made this morning but as soon as I poured it she told me it was decaf. If she hadn’t have told me I would probably have never noticed and my body would have accepted the placebo. Evil.

Also, my rent check is probably going to bounce because my paycheck was once again direct deposited into my savings account instead of checking. This company hates me. I had to write a giant apology email to my landlord first thing this morning and will spend my entire lunch hour running around transferring funds to cover it.

Also, my internet at home was down this morning. I’m not sure if this is because I forgot to pay it or what…I mean, I know I forgot to pay it, but I’m not getting the same error message I would normally get in that case.

Of course, with the internet connection being down my home phone doesn’t work. I knew there was something about the whole broadband phone that would be bad. I don’t give anyone that number, only my cell phone, so I’m not exactly concerned about it, but still. I did remember to pay that one and it would be nice if it worked.

4.11.06

Horoscopes For Today: 4/11/2006
You've done a good job lately. Yes you have.
Haven't you? Be honest: You have! So stop pushing. You've gathered a whole heck
of a lot of momentum and you can darned well let yourself coast. Not only can
you, but you should. It will save gas for later on when you might need an extra
push. So put your feet up and take a long, drawn-out, well-deserved breath. Give
those tired doggies a rest!

That’s right, just scratch me like a puppy. These horoscopes are getting lamer everyday. Maybe they hired someone new to write them. I can tell that the author of this is freebasing Prozac. It did remind me though, that my car is just about out of gas and the only money I’ve got is spare change. Thankfully payday is tomorrow.

The book fair at work is today. I should be glad that I’m broke since I always spend too much money on those things.

Today, finally, I was able to wear shoes other than my CTs or a pair of boots. I’m excited. I even dressed like a girl today. Of course, it is honestly just part of my passive aggressive war against my job. If I’m wearing decent clothes and shoes they can’t possibly make me crawl around in those racks lifting boxes, right? I can just sit in my cube and drool all day long.

Anyone besides me ever give much thought to the fact that the walls of our cubes are padded? Think about that…

My boss is gone for the rest of the week leaving me in charge. Usually this means I’m overwhelmed with work, but I’m not even going to check on her stuff unless I absolutely have to. There is very few staff left that report to me anyway, so what’s the point? When she went to visit her family in France last year I was still fully staffed and then it was crazy trying to keep up with both of our jobs. Now, there is just the few angry folks that haven't found new jobs yet.

To make things interesting this morning we pretended we were a gang. Somehow our cart thingy was found over in Underwriting. How it got there and why, we do not know. After reminding the boys to lock the effin' doors when they leave we go over to get it back. So here's Mr. Kamil "I am going to stand here and look tough" Burns, Mr. Frank "You can tell I could kick your ass if I wanted to" Payne, and the lovely me. They had my back, you know how it goes. I'm sure they were all afraid of us over there, because they played stupid "Um..I dunno how it got over here..." and we stole it back.

I guess I should do some work or something.

Random shit I keep forgetting

To start with, my plant is dying. It looks sadder in person, I swear. The big healthy leaves that you see are actually one of the kids bean plants that is wrapping around the dying plant.


Secondly, I forgot that we took pictures of my desk on my birthday. Someone went all out. I'm guessing it was Sonia? But they're all secretive and whatnot.


Also, I forgot that I wanted to post this conversation because it was just funny. Name deleted to protect the not-so-innocent.:

From: stephanie
Date: Apr 5, 2006 11:49 PM

I can kick both batman AND superman's asses with my hands tied behind my back AND while wearing those little geisha shoes.

Take that!

From:
Date: Apr 5, 2006 11:58 PM

Oh yeah? What if the Joker and Lex Luther were sneak'n up on ya and you didn't know it and then once you realized it, it was too late and then the batmobile lost its wheel and the joker got away? Betchya the geisha shoes aren't such a good idea.

Karate! Chop! (insert accent)

My watch just beeped and so then happy birthday to you lady.

From: stephanie
Date: Apr 6, 2006 12:01 AM

holy beejesus! happy bday to me!

I could take em. those shoes are made of wood. and they make pointy toes. yep
i could kick ass japan style

From:
Date: Apr 6, 2006 12:10 AM

What if some dude in a jesus dress came sneaking up from behind? And what if he could kick ass japan style. What if he was a proficiant master in the acient oriental art of karaoke? What if he knew Pad Thai or Moo Goo Gai Pan? And all of them had geisha shoes, then what would you do?

Personally, being a third degree Perry Ellis belt myself, I would choose to take out the biggest guy with my chinese throwing pot stickers and then whip out my sushi and chop fuckers up! That''s how I'd do it. True Japan style.

From: stephanie
Date: Apr 6, 2006 12:19 AM

i would tickle jesus and then play the 'ima girl' card.

win win either way.

----------
I fell asleep after that, so I don't know if there was a good rebuttal.

Also, I want to take this time to formally ask Josh to stop taking 8,000 pictures of himself and then saving them on my computer. If you haven't noticed, I keep deleting them. Seriously, they all look the same with photoshop. Now I know why the battery in my camera is always dead.

My downstairs neighbor moved her kid from the room under mine to the room under my kids. She plays very, very, very, very, very loud rap music all day long. How can the love of my life, Steve Burns, compete with that shit? I mean, c'mon now. "We are gonna play blues clues...because we're really smart!" sung to a vibrating floor. The beats aren't even close to the same.

I've been told I have to work every other Saturday indefinitely. I'll never need to go to a gym again. Not that I ever did, but still...

I went to Fairytale town Sunday morning and tried to take a nap in Robin Hood's chair in the Sherwood Forest. Terrible thing to do. The donkey there still hates me.

I had other things to say, but for the life of me I can't remember what they were.

4.10.06

Horoscopes For Today: 4/10/2006
If you've got a project at work that's
wrapping up (or even coming anywhere close to the wrap-up stage) today is the
day to attend to all the details. If you're developing a new donut, start
testing the sprinkles. Don't go back to the cutting board for a whole new batter
recipe! Whatever you've got, batter-wise, you've tested it enough to know it's
good -- don't let doubt distract you from the important questions: Glaze or
frosting? Pink sprinkles or coconut shavings?

Ho hum. Now I’m hungry.

Fucking Creationists

One-Eyed Kitten Sold To Museum Exploring Creationism

SYRACUSE, N.Y. -- A one-eyed, noseless kitten that stirred debate last year over whether it was a hoax will be the centerpiece of a new museum intended to promote the theory of creationism.

John Adolfi plans to feature Cy's remains at The Lost World Museum when it opens later this year. The Phoenix, N.Y., museum will feature such oddities as giant plants and eggs, deformed animal remains and unique archaeological finds, he said.

Adolfi believes in creationism - a literal reading of the Bible's story of creation.

He wrote on the museum's Web site that the theory of evolution states that "environmental pressures can lift species from the ape-like creature ... to us today. My question is this. Are there really positive mutations?

"All I can see are neutral or negative," said Adolfi, a real estate agent from Granby, N.Y.

Owner Traci Allen, of Redmond, Ore., said she sold Cy's remains to Adolfi because she believes "creationism should be an option for people to consider." She said she turned down other offers, including from Ripley's Believe It or Not!.

Neither Adolfi nor Allen would say how much he paid for the remains.

The 1½-ounce Cy was born Dec. 28 but died a day later. It had one oversized eye in the center of its face, no eyelid and no nose.

The cat's authenticity was widely debated on the Internet. Veterinarians said it suffered from a rare disorder called holoprosencephaly.

For the Museum's lame website, click here.

4.7.06

Horoscopes For Today: 4/7/2006
Have you been itching to build a new kitchen cabinet? Or is it something less concrete that's calling you to action? Maybe you want to build a new relationship? Or a new knowledge base? Or develop a
talent or two that you've let languish? Whatever it is, heed this call to action and get going. You'll be glad you took advantage of the moment when you did.

I can’t imagine wanting to build a new cabinet, no. I’ve given up relationships like a crack habit and prefer to resort to cheap, tawdry sex acts in hotels far away cities, so no to that, too. A new knowledge bases would be good, if I wasn’t so burnt out that I can’t retain a new fact (or many old ones at this point). Talents? Where?

I’ll be doing something soon, I hope. I just don’t know what yet. I have a book to write, so maybe that…I need to find 10 minutes of alone and quiet time for that to happen though.

Last night I developed the migraine from hell. Sleep was not in the cards. I took 5 advil just to take the edge off but it didn’t do much. It has definitely lessened (I can see straight now) but I still feel pretty crappy.

One of my best friends has seemed to have forgotten my birthday altogether. I know she is busy with her ‘new life’ with her recently returned husband, new house, kids, etc but it still sucks. I’m doing my best this morning not to guilt trip her because that is fucked up and I’m sure I’ve done worse things. I forget –everyones- birthday (although I did finally remember hers this year…)
Blah blah whatever.

I talked to Josh Red last night for the first time in months. (Because waving across the aisle @ Palace of Stains didn’t count.) It was nice to commiserate. We’re supposed to hang out this weekend and watch movies but honestly I don’t think we’ve done that in years even though we always say we will. Hopefully this time it’ll happen. I still need that down time.

Improper Office Dialogue

[Sonia]: Oh, oh, oh! Stephanie you just missed it! I took 25 thousand pictures of Frank.
[Frank]: *Grumbles*
[Sonia]: He’s like that guy Wilson on Home Improvement! Something is always hidden!

(Sonia really does talk in all !!!!!!!!!!!)

[Sonia]: And then! Then he tripped on a chair and hit the scanner and said, “Shit!”

(Frank never swears.)

[Frank]: Yeah, because you’re stressing me out. Trying to take a million pictures of me when I told you not to.
[Me]: Frank, you’re just feeding into it. Let her take one picture and she will leave you alone because it won’t be fun anymore. C’mon Frank! Vogue!
[Frank]: And I told her the light hurt my eyes but she kept on setting the damn flash off anyway.
[Sonia]: I turned the flash off!
[Me]: How about I let you borrow my sunglasses and the we take a picture?
[Sonia]: Yeah! Go get your sunglasses!
[Frank]: You guys stress me out. I see Saturday fading away. I’ll be too stressed by then.

(Frank is supposed to come in this weekend to help me out with some OT.)

[Me]: God Frank you are such a girl.
[Frank] *does some limp wrist flip and says*: Yeah, I’m such a woman.
[Me] *mockingly*: “I can’t come in on Saturday because I have PMS”.
[Frank]: I’ll try and remember not to wear the white pants.

Frank wins this round.

Fuck you, Nationwide.

I’ve decided that I officially hate my job. It’s not even ‘slight discomfort’ or ‘tolerable annoyances’. I straight up hate this place. Firstly, I do not get paid NEARLY enough. My hourly rate is slightly above $15.00/hour. That is not enough money to be anybody’s bitch. I’m sick of people complaining. I’m tired of people staring at me and asking ‘Why isn’t this done?’ while they are off painting their fingernails and I’m busy doing 5 peoples jobs. That’s right, now I’m filling in FIVE positions. I can only multi-task so much. Something has to fucking give here.

And to top it off, I get to work on Saturday now, too. Good thing I wasn’t doing anything for my birthday since I LOVE WORK so much more.

Fuckers.

I need some coffee.

This is a hard one

I've just finished watching In the Realm of The Senses. An hour into it I started crying and that didn't stop until right about now (20 minutes post viewing) because then I started vomiting. My, I'm a sensitive girl. For obvious reasons, I can't say too much specifically about why this movie so affected me. Those of you who have stuck with me for the last two and a half years of my life, my best friends, would understand and know and I take comfort enough in that because that is all I can do. I know I've been moody and have blamed most of it on the weather or anything else that I can find to complain about, but this..."situation" has been on my mind the past week for no real specific reason. I'm sure this too will pass, it has definitely been long enough.

The moral of the story is unclear. Perhaps: a relationship built on obsession and sex can only end one way. Even if it doesn't, I can tell you that it is like heroin and in the end you may at the very least wish you were dead for lack of it.

I urge you all to look up Abe Sada and Kichizo Ishida -- In the Realm of the Senses is a true story.

My parting words: I wish he would have beat me, because then I would have known how to fight back.

4.4.06

Horoscopes For Today: 4/4/2006
Nobody ever said you were a stick-in-the-mud, and that's because a
stick-in-the-mud is just about the last term anybody would ever choose to describe you. You're a go-getter, and today is a day to get out and go. You're at an important turning point, and whatever you put your energies into will take on dimensions even you may never have dreamt of. Likely as not, you'll leave your competitors in the dust.

There are no words to explain how lame that sounds. I need to find a new horoscope provider. A friend told me about a different horoscope thing…it was better…I can’t remember the url though. What is it again?

Last night I managed to break another glass in the kitchen. (I’m down to uh…not very many left.) The cool thing was that I, of course, wasn’t even in the same room as the glass when it happened. I’ve got ghosts, you know. My house is too quiet with Lhiannan gone. Aislin and I just moped around and eat junk food all night. I did manage to make some kick-ass peanut butter brownies. Topped with ice cream it was mmmmmmmm mmmmmmm good. Then, I got a piece of glass somehow stuck in the top of my toe (at the toenail). I didn’t notice until I had flung blood all over the kitchen. Nice. I had nothing better to do but mop anyway. Josh is supposed to come stay for a few days which will at least keep Aislin company and maybe I’ll be able to leave the two of them alone and get out of the house by myself.

This week sometime Josh is supposed to take Aislin to meet the new baby-momma Britney (I have no idea how to spell that name, sorry.) I am feeling a bit weird about it, but it has to happen. I’m having flashbacks of when Andrew introduced Lhiannan to Shelley. Weirdness. It’s difficult to be a supportive friend, and he is one of my best friends, when he’s also my ex, and my kids dad and he gets a 17 year old pregnant. Part of me wants to beat the hell out of him for being such a moron. As long as Brit doesn’t try to convert Aislin to some bizarre religion (like Andy and Shelley tried to do to Lhiannan) then I guess I’m ok with her. Even if she said I had a “simple” look.

Alright, maybe I’m feeling a bit aggressive today…I pity the foo’

Law Would Let Hookers Sue Pimps, Customers

SPRINGFIELD, Ill. -- "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp," especially when your hookers can sue you.
Civil litigation wasn't one of the hazards facing D-Jay the pimp in the movie "Hustle and Flow."

But lawmakers in Illinois are considering a measure that would allow working girls to sue their pimps or customers who attack them.

The state Senate approved the bill Thursday. It now goes to the Illinois House, which has OK'd similar legislation in the past.

The measure's backers note that pimps are largely out of the reach of the law. About 3,200 hookers were arrested in Chicago last year. But supporters of the legislation say the number of pimps busted each year is around 30 or less.

Publisher Won't Print Bibles With Porn Reference

'Jesus Loves Porn Stars' Called Inappropriate

LOS ANGELES -- The American Bible Society is refusing to print New Testaments with covers that say "Jesus Loves Porn Stars."

California pastors Mike Foster and Craig Gross, whose anti-porn ministry is called www.xxxchurch.com, had ordered 10,000 of the customized Bibles to hand out at adult film conventions.

But the edgy cover led the publisher to cancel the paid order.

The American Bible Society said that while it appreciates the pastors' mission, the words "Jesus Loves Porn Stars" are "misleading and inappropriate for a New Testament."

In a statement released on the Web site, the pastors said that they believe the publisher is wrong.

"We think this goes with the central message of the gospel and Jesus loves you regardless of your profession," the statement read. "This is not about shock tactics, this is about trying to get the word of God to places most say would be impossible but we have found a way to do it."

The pastors said they are confident the Bible will be printed, saying someone will step up and help in the effort.
Distributed by Internet Broadcasting Systems, Inc. The Associated Press contributed to this report. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

4.03.06

Horoscopes For Today: 4/3/2006
Maybe you have your eye on a promotion at
work. Maybe your ambition is pointing you in another direction altogether. Are
you considering changing workplaces entirely? Or maybe you've been nursing some
sweet dreams of a career switch. Whatever your goals, today is a good day for
moving forward. Don't forget: An important step toward realizing your ambitions
is to be realistic about what's really happening now.

I’m realistic about the fact that everyone is getting fired now. Are we pretending that I have a choice about the ‘changing workplaces entirely’ thing?

Bah. This weather is really starting to get to me. I can’t remember the last time it wasn’t raining. It’s downright depressing. I’m tired of stepping in puddles, of bad hair days (do you realize what this weather does to the white-girl-afro?), of mud, of the constant stream of water pouring off my roof (no gutters anywhere on my house), of bad drivers, of not knowing where the hell my umbrella is, of staying indoors or in cars.

I want to take a nice walk without rain. I want my street to stop flooding.

Gito Gito Hustler/Didley Squat

The National