3.30.06

Horoscopes For Today: 3/30/2006
The universe is downright insisting that you
turn your attention toward your checkbook. And that doesn't mean just balancing
it, either. You need to go over all your finances with a fine-tooth comb. Once
you're done, if you need to put your foot down about a bill, a debt or what
someone owes you, go right ahead -- especially if you've already been far too
patient. You're famous for that, in fact -- but it's time to stop allowing
yourself to be taken advantage of. And that means now. Right now.

You want me to actually pay a bill or something? I haven’t written down a single check I’ve written since the year began, and you think I’m going to start now?

Oh, ok.

Damn, I’m broke.

03.29.06

Horoscopes For Today: 3/29/2006
Just before you pick up the phone, remind
yourself that you're not sure what kind of mood they'll be in. That way, if
they're as ready as you are to get into it, you won't be shocked. A team of
potent astrological players is set up in your house of long-distance
relationships, ready to help you unearth what might previously have been seen as
over. It's a solar eclipse, and those, friends, are the stuff of mighty changes.
Great big ones -- no kidding.

I’m not going to hold my breath, but if it were true…wouldn’t it be so nice?

Not just bored -- survey bored

1. What time did you get up this morning?
6:45 - exactly 1 hour late causing me to be 35 minutes late for work, subtracting time from my 1 hr 15 min lunch.

2. Diamonds or Pearls?
Diamonds are my birthstone. Diamonds. OOOOOooo shiny.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Palace of Stains

4. What is your favorite TV show?
Arrested Development though I've never actually seen in on broadcast, only DVD

5. What did you have for breakfast?
a cup of coffee

6. What is your middle name?
Ann

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
Vegetarian anything

8. What foods do you dislike?
Meat anything

9. Your favorite potato chip? At the moment?
U don't really have one.

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment?
She Wants Revenge, self titled

11. What kind of car do you drive?
97 Pontiac sunfire. Hot, eh?

12. Favorite sandwich?
avocado, cream cheese, and swiss w/tomato. mmmmmmmm

13. What characteristics do you despise?
snobby bitches. especially male snobby bitches. whiny bitches

14. What are your favorite clothes?
the cheap kind. the kind that make me look good

15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
Right now, India.

16. What color is your bedroom?
Dirty colored. I dunno....wood furniture...brown blanket...black chair, black lantern...white walls.

17. Favorite brand of clothing?
don't have one

18. Where were you born?
Peoria, IL

19. Favorite time of day?
either very early in the morning before anyone is awake or late at night.

20. Where would you want to retire to?
Leaning towards France

21. Favorite sport to watch?
none, I just don't care anymore. Used to watch basketball.

22. Who do you least expect to send this back?
me.

23. Person you expect to send it back first?
me.

24. Coke or Pepsi?
pepsi

25. Are you a morning person or night owl?
night owl

26. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share.
umm...i got control of my rp newspaper back after like 3 years - hell yeah!

27. What did you want to be when you were little?
a marine biologist - didn't everyone?

28. What is your best childhood memory?
um. dunno.

29. What are the different jobs you have had in your life?
retail bitch, office bitch, dispatch bitch.

30. Nicknames?
steph --- anie?
er Lelia I guess.

31. Piercings?
Ears, navel

32. Eye Color?
Green

33. Ever been to Africa?
no

34. Ever been toilet papering?
yes

35. Favorite day of the week?
sunday. i never have to be doing stuff on sundays. i can usually chill

36. Favorite restaurant?
happy gourmet - but it's out of business

37. Favorite ice cream?
peanut butter

38. Favorite fast food restaurant?
jack in the box

39. How many times did you fail your driver's test?
zero

40. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail?
I didn't get this in email but...last one was a topic notification for a bbs.

41. Which store would you choose to Max out your credit card?
thrift store - i have a low limit.

42. Bedtime?
when i fall asleep. trying to keep in earlier than 12

43. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire?
everyone. but no one will answer it

44. Last person you went to dinner with?
don't remember. um...probably Temperance

45. What are you listening to right now?
the background music for .hack//infection and the fan on this machine

46. What is your favorite color?
black, reds, greens

47. How many tattoos do you have?
I'll say 2, but technically 3.

48. How many people are you sending this e-mail to?
all of em.

3.28.06

Horoscopes For Today: 3/28/2006
It's time to relax and have some fun -- not
alone, but not in a crowd of thousands, either. You want to have some fun, but
you probably also want to spend your time with just one quality person. Someone
you've been dying to spend your time with. So instead of dragging yourself out
and pretending to have a good time if you're not really in the mood, snuggle up,
kick back and enjoy a quiet evening -- a party of two.

How about a party of three? It’s never less than three in my house since three of us live there. Nothing sounds better than vegging out on the couch and watching movies but if this means I have to watch Sleepover one more time then I’ll pass.

I was 35 minutes late for work today. Pat myself on the back for that one. I even went to sleep an hour earlier than I normally do and I overslept by nearly an hour. My daughter woke me up this morning, “Um, Mom, are we not going to school today?”

Oops.

My daughter goes to a Charter Montessori school downtown across the street from Sutter’s Fort. There has been a ton of construction over there lately because Sutter Hospital is building a new parking garage or something. But get this – guess what they dug up the other day over there? A cannonball! How cool is that? I’ve fantasized all morning long about who shot who with it. Neat-o!

Thrift Store Purchases

Went shopping tonight trying to find 'pioneer' clothes. No luck, of course.

Here are the goodies I did walk away with:


5 books including:

• Bonfire of the Vanities - Tom Wolfe
• Borderliners - Peter Hoeg
• The Return of the Native - Thomas Hardy
• In the Hand of Dante - Nick Tosches
• Beauty and the Beene, a Modern Legend - Laura Jacobs/Sirichai

And a shiny vinyl red jacket, just for kicks. Note the price tag - 9.98. Still undecided if this is ok or not.

Sarah Graves

I've decided on my character for the Sutter's Fort Living History thing.
I settled on Sarah Graves, age 22, married to Jay Fosdick.

Here's an excerpt from The Donner Party by Daniel Lewis, Part IV: Eating of the Dead

During early January, the Forlorn Hope had made good progress, but they were far away from civilization, and food was running low again. Jay Fosdick grew terribly ill, and could no longer keep up with the others. Understandably, he was left behind, and his wife Sarah Graves-Fosdick stayed with him. After about a day-or-two, the Forlorn Hope concluded that the Fosdicks were dead, and William Foster and one other person turned back, to find the corpses to use for food.

Surprisingly, Sarah Fosdick was still alive, but barely. Jay had died not long ago, and Sarah had hopelessly abandoned her hope of escaping the mountains and had remained with the body of her husband. Before Sarah's eyes her husband was cut up, and after the packs were filled with dried meat, Foster and Mrs. Fosdick went back to the others, who had made a camp, waiting for Foster's return.

It seems tragically fitting for me. I'd be stupid enough to wait around to die with the corpse of my man instead of eating him. What the hell is my problem?

Eternally bored

I am officially, completely, perpetually bored.
I've spent the better part of the morning putting words into an online thesaurus to come up with better words.

10 entries found for bored.

Main Entry:	blas�
Part of Speech:	adjective
Definition:	nonchalant
Synonyms:	apathetic, bored, cloyed, cool, disenchanted, disentranced, fed up, glutted, indifferent, jaded, knowing, laid back, lukewarm, mellow, mondaine, offhand, satiated, sick of, sophisticate, sophisticated, surfeited, unconcerned, unexcited, uninterested, unmoved, weary, world-weary

So, yeah.

Today Aislin is going down to Lodi to hang out with her frien d Ashley (James' daughter). Funny that my four-year-old has out of town friends. Since James moved back down to Lodi the girls have only seen each other once (for Ashley's birthday).

I was supposed to go shopping with Temperance for "pioneer clothes" but she seems to have changed her mind about that without telling me. We are participating in the ELP at Sutter's Fort next month. We have to be there all day (and overnight) acting as pioneer women while the kids enjoy their overnight field trip. I get to teach the kid s how to make baskets. Oooh baskets. I've made two so far. The first one you are supposed to give away, so I gave it to AJ because he was kind enough to stand around waiting for me. We were supposed to go get food and drinks after this day long training. I ended up flaking on him because everything was taking so fucking long anyway. At least he got a basket out of it.

Oh yeah, I'm gonna be fucking SEXY. Or not.

Not a whole lot else going on. Tonight I'm taking Lhiannan to her friends birthday party - Lazer Tag at Country Club. I asked nicely if I could participate, too. Several kids who are unable to make it to the party have asked if I could shoot everyone for them. How could I turn that down? Ok, I guess I could have, but while this lazer tag thing doesn't really interest me at all and probably sends a bad message to the kids I'm going to do it anyway because I never have.

I just remembered my favorite word: Ennui. It seems appropriate. What does thesaurus.com have to say about that?

14 entries found for ennui.

Main Entry:	ennui
Part of Speech:	noun
Definition:	boredom
Synonyms:	apathy, blahs, blues, dejection, depression, dissatisfaction, doldrums, dumps, fatigue, ho hums, languidness, languor, lassitude, listlessness, melancholy, sadness, satiety, spiritlessness, surfeit, tedium, weariness, yawn
Antonyms:	energy, enthusiasm, excitement, liveliness
Source:	Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.1.1) Copyright © 2006 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.

Mmmmm such a pretty word.

3.24.06

Horoscopes For Today: 3/24/2006
A certain friend has been on your case pretty hard lately, so you've been toeing the line, doing everything just right and forcing yourself to even prove yourself to them -- without even being asked. Basically, you've been very, very good -- but now it's time to let go and expect something in return. You know how you are, and how you've always been: Stress is just a way of life. Give yourself a break tonight and chill out. You can be tense tomorrow.


Everyone’s been on my case lately. Chill, people.
Today I get to leave work at noon for a bit of ‘teambuilding’ with my coworkers. Chuck-E-Cheese has been abandoned because we simply will not have enough time to enjoy ourselves but we are still hitting Chipotle for lunch and then heading over to Alpha Fired Arts for the remainder of the day to glaze cheap pottery in an attempt at boosting our sinking spirits. Luckily, I won’t have to go back to work afterwards so I’m basically getting paid to spend half the day doing nothing. Sweet!

My tummy has been growling so loud that my surrounding cubemates can hear it. Having been sick I can’t actually taste anything and haven’t had any appetite. Today I have to cram 100 phone calls to doctors into my half day while my voice is nasally and gross. Good times!

Sleep Disturbances

Last night was another night filled with odd dreams. I can't tell you what a single one was because I forgot them before I woke, but you know what it's like to know you've had wierd dreams even if you can't remember them, right?

However, I woke up with no shirt on. Apparently I did a solo strip tease in the middle of the night.

I used to do this, wake up completely naked for no reason whatsoever. It hasn't happened in a very long time. I never understood why I did it then any more than I understand it now. I thought before that I must have been hot in the night but since I don't have a heater in my room and it gets down right frigid in here I can't use that excuse for last night.

I wonder if I sleep walk and don't know it? There's no one around to tell me otherwise. The girls certainly wouldn't notice. Aislin talks in her sleep; Lhiannan used to sleep walk a little.

I really want a good nights sleep...

3.23.06

Horoscopes For Today: 3/23/2006
You've got things to do, and you're ready to get them done. That includes end-of-month reports (yes, early, for once) and beginning-of-month bills (also early) -- but that definitely doesn't mean you should forget about recreation. If anyone knows how to get work done in just enough time to leave some energy for play, it's you. Exercise that skill tonight. After what you've been dealing with lately, you'll be seen as an example.


Um, right. I’m so behind at work that I have had to expand my workspace to include two additional cubicles and I have 9 boxes stacked along a wall full of documents that I have to review. I’m not foreseeing any playtime. So, first things first, I’m going to deal with the 100 emails that I’ve been putting off and ignoring. I’m no longer happy being the problem solver and ‘fixer of other peoples errors’. Maybe if I can get it all out of the way today I’ll feel a little bit better about my job.

3.22.06

Horoscopes For Today: 3/22/2006
Most of us here on planet number three don't
deal well with change. Fortunately, there are fire signs like yours who just
love it and are happy to provide us with living examples of how great change can
be. Keep those facts in mind today while you're trying to deal with others who
aren't quite so open to last minute modifications in their carefully planned
schedules. They may not be kindred spirits, but they're fellow humans. Be
merciful.

I don’t recall ever being good with change either. I just take things as they come.

Last night I had sex dreams that Mary-Kate and Ashley were getting it on with another chick (no idea who). It was uh…very graphic. Those girls are downright nasty in my subconscious.

I’m also losing my voice. I can make squeaking sounds. I can cough. I can talk a bit but my voice is very gravelly sounding and itches. Ick.

I’m going to sit at work with headphones on (my universal sign that says “don’t talk to me because I’m not listening”) while I drink my coffee and maybe actually get some work done for once. I’ve been working on this possible prescription fraud thing that is sucking the life out of me. I have three subpoenas pending that are overdue. I have a million boxes of stuff to review.

The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot

This is sort of hard to explain, but there is some music I listen to just for the poetry of the lyrics. The music itself I don't like. Stupid, I know.

I've left the old iPod on shuffle and I've heard a ton of stuff that I haven't listened to in ages.
The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot would be my favorite song if based on lyrics only. But the band, Brand New, is one that I really don't like.
Perhaps I'm getting sentimental in my old age.

The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot
Brand New - Deja Entenou

If it makes you less sad, I will die by your hand.
I hope you find out what you want.
I already know what I am.
And if it makes you less sad, we'll start talking again.
And you can tell me how vile I already know that I am.
I'll grow old and start acting my age.
I'll be a brand new day in a life that you hate.
A crown of gold.
A heart that's harder than stone.
And it hurts a whole lot, but it's missed when it's gone.
Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not.
I'm glad that you can forgive.
I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget.
If it makes you less sad, I'll move out of the state.
You can keep to yourself.
I'll keep out of your way.
And if it makes you less sad, I'll take your pictures all down.
Every picture you paint, I will paint myself out.
It's cold as a tomb, and it's dark in your room, when I sneak to your bed to pour salt in your wounds.
So call it quits or get a grip.
Say you wanted a solution.
You just wanted to be missed.
Call me a safe bet.
I'm betting I'm not.
I'm glad that you can forgive.
I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget...
So you can forget
You can forget
You are calm and reposed.
It lets your beauty unfold.
Pale white, like the skin stretched over your bones.
Spring keeps you ever close.
You are second hand smoke.
You are so fragile and thin.
Standing trial for your sins.
Holding onto yourself the best you can.
You are the smell before rain.
You are the blood in my veins.
Call me a safe bet.
I'm betting I'm not.
I'm glad that you can forgive.
I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget.

Another typical day...

Twice a week our warehouse vendor, Iron Mountain, delivers the millions of boxes that I request for storage, review, whatever. Today there were 2 pallets (that’s 80+ boxes). The driver, Billy, pulls up in a giant truck with a hydraulic lift and parks it at our ‘loading dock’. Note: It really isn’t a loading dock, just an inclined bit of sidewalk. Today, Billy is alone. Usually he has another person to help him unload when he has a large order, but not today. It takes time for one man to unload 85 boxes. He unloads, we chat.

Enter the Jaime Foxx look alike.

A guy drives up in a van from Color Press. He walks up to us rather huffy and says he needs to be able to back up and park exactly where we are. He looks almost exactly like Jamie Foxx with glasses but weirder. Now, our truck is bigger than his, our load is larger than his and he wants us to move. There is a rule amongst drivers and loading docks around the world – first come, first serve. This guy was not happy about it. He gets on his cell phone and very loudly tells the party on the other end that he will be here a minute because “a gentleman has taken over the loading dock”.

At one point he offers to help to “expedite the delay” (can you use those words in a sentence together?). Billy refuses because the documents in the boxes are confidential and only he and I can touch the boxes. Jaime Foxx seems offended by this and apparently has no shame as he threw a tantrum. I went back inside to find the Copy Center folk who he is delivering to. I tell them that the drivers are outside playing ro-sham-bo for the dock. They come outside with me and laugh at the guy, too and tell him to wait, so I don’t feel so bad. We suggest he moves his van somewhere else, but now he decides to wait.

Then he wants to chat. Suddenly I am in the midst of a frightening political speech that starts out with the “70,000 people being killed in Iraq” and goes through everything from “6 million a month for the war” to “have you seen the levees in West Sac?” This is an angry guy. I couldn’t even really comment on anything other than to just nod and smile when appropriate. Billy was trying to keep up with the conversation and directed it back to home soil and then he started on a tirade about the people dying just here in Sacramento. It was a little heavy for this early in the morning. Maybe I just need another cup of coffee.

To make things worse, (or better?) Jonathan H. is back at work as of yesterday. This isn’t necessarily bad because he is my friend and all, but he is doing his best to torture me to make up for the two months that he hasn’t.

Example:
[him]: Stop yawning. You’re making me yawn. It’s contagious.
(I don’t think I was yawning.)
[me]: I’m not. And I could stare at you while you yawn and it won’t make me yawn.
(I stare. He yawns the longest yawn ever. There is no way it could be real. Damn it! He wins and I have to look away…but not quite in time.)
[me] while yawning: I hate you.
He then proceeds to do stupid human tricks like…twisting his arm grotesquely and giving himself some sort of lockjaw with his overbite. He freaks me out. I shoot him with a rubber band but he still won’t leave. Finally I bust out the can of compressed air and aim for his face. Ha ha, who wins now?

By the way, nice to have you back Jonathan! Let’s play a round of speed tic-tac-toe soon.

3.21.06

Horoscopes For Today: 3/21/2006
To say that the past couple of days have been tricky -- no, downright demanding -- isn't quite capturing the spirit of the times. In fact, you've had it with just about everyone and just about everything. Fortunately, you have some time now to separate yourself from whoever and/or whatever has just pushed your buttons -- for what you've determined will be the very last time. Make the most of it -- and don't be afraid to take a friend along to enjoy the ride. Oh, and the show.


So…I’m supposed to invite someone along…to watch my head explode? Hmm…I don’t think any of my friends like me enough to watch that.

Horoscopes For Sunday: 3/19/2006
Chatting merrily away with everyone from
folks in line at the grocery to strangers on the bus? Dashing around with new
friends, having fun? Bet you are. The good news is that your audience is
enjoying this as much as you are. Get yourself out there, though, and don't
forget about the company of dear ones you haven't seen in far too long. With the
heavens as full as they are of spontaneous, impetuous energies, it won't be long
before they contact you. Promise.

I’ve been meaning to get over to Arizona to see Damon soon…I miss her more than words can really express. They are apparently prepared to come out here at any given moment and move me there. It’s hard to turn down…

Horoscopes For Today: 3/20/2006
It doesn't take an astrologer to know that
full Moons (in this case, a potent lunar eclipse) have very special powers. All
those love songs and poems weren't written about the Moon for nothing, after
all. At the moment, the heavens are insisting that you come to a decision -- a
big one -- regarding your work situation. Think it over as long as you like.
Anyone who tries to rush you, by the way, definitely doesn't have your best
interests at heart.

Hmmm…it’s something to ponder.

This morning I woke up with a weird cramp in the back of my leg. I got up and took a shower, went back in my room and sat down in a chair. I then heard weird noises coming from my bed (which was empty save for me when I went to sleep). Aislin had crawled in some time during the night. It explains the pain I suppose. I have the perfect ratio of pillow to person at the moment and when someone unexpectedly adds themselves to the equation it throws me off a little. My foot is feeling better although it is not as pain-free as I had hoped. Today is the first day I’ve worn shoes since Jovan squished me like a bug. Hopefully I won’t have to do much walking around today. I forgot my work badge, and of course attached to it all my work keys. Sort of limits what I can do without have to ask someone for keys which I am not inclined to do.

We have our ‘teambuilding’ outing this Friday. We will be going to some ceramic studio I have never heard of to glaze cheap pottery. I also managed to convince everyone to go to Chuck E Cheese for lunch during this activity. I want a skee-ball tournament, is that too much to ask for? Since our manager is tagging along though now, it looks like we won’t be able to do it. Bah. Maybe not though; she announced last week that she has found another job and is leaving us to join the dark side and work across the campus at Allied. Figures.

St. Patrick's Day Pictures

3.17.06

Horoscopes For Today: 3/17/2006
Over time, you've trained yourself to count
to ten when you feel the fire in your disposition begin to color your cheeks --
when you're absolutely enraged, that is. If that happens now, an even better bet
might be to put some distance between you and whoever turned the thermostat up,
especially if that warm, flushed feeling starts creeping around to the back of
your neck -- a sure sign that the situation is about to become quite tricky.
Take a walk. A power walk.

Just don’t piss me off; I don’t feel like power walking in the rain.
This morning I woke with the tingling beginnings of a migraine coming on. I can feel it pushing its way from my brain into my right eye and ear. Of course, I do not have any medicine at work so I’m sitting here squinting and suffering. I tried to wear sunglasses while working but my boss frowned on that for some reason. Fate hates me.

That burning love...

Is like a bad rash. It's ok though, because today I learned all about butt paste. "It's not just for rashes anymore."

Anyway. Forgive me, I'm sleepy.

Last night we had a big master plan that involved shoe shopping, laundry and Ikea. Shoe shopping was completed but when we came home and found that my ex had left crap on my doorstep the rest of the night was sort of derailed. Why? What better occasion for a bonfire? The catch was that I didn't have any place to burn the stuff. This is why myspace is handy.

I posted this:

I need a fireplace, grill, or bar-b-que ASAP. Anyone have one they are will to let me burn stuff in? Paper goods only...

Which surprisingly lead to the most hilarious replies. They've continued on through the day today. Such as...

Jesse (recently moved back to NY):
I have one... wait... getting it here might be a hassle. haha

Tim (way out in Rocklin):
heya i have a bbq , fireplace burn pit if you still need

Doug (far away)
what do y9ou need to burn? i live out of the city. i have a small bbq. hope you are staying warm. it is cold in these hills

doug

Jer (retarded)
just have a bonfire in your sink.... haha

My own daddy!:
Steff, burning for what ? Just for disposal, or heat,,,,,
If you need stuff just dumped, I can pick up whatever, in the truck, we have half a dozen big dumpsters over here. If you just need a bbq or something, I'll pick up one for ya.

Saul:
Good lord!! Have you gone nuts and plan to burn all of records!! Actually thats not really nuts just wise.

Don:
I've got a fireplace, just call.

Don

And my favorite, the funniest

Michael:
are you gonna dance around it in some crazy ritual? if you di that's cool. i'm immune to cooties or bad mojo because when i was six yrs. old i called blackout forever so i think i'm still covered... cause you know, it's forever.
are you burning like your ex's clothes? i wear 34 in waist.
ok bye

In the end though, Jonathan came through:
Hi, I had no idea that you were a pyro. Egads, what are you wanting to burn?

And we both set much ex-related stuff on fire in his bbq while neighbors in bright red robes questioned our sanity.








And for the record, no I have no idea why he decided to bring back the things he did. I really don't want to know. Attention seeking, I suppose. It's not like they were things to return. We are talking about things like...christmas cards. You don't return cards to people, you throw them away. It's just dumb. But it was a good excuse for a bonfire.
Thank you all so much for caring. I was surprised! A million bajillion thanks to Jon for obvious reasons. Thank you for not letting me take my own advice!

Whirlwind Lunch

I have become the best errand-running-shopper in town.

Goal: Need food and an outfit for St. Patrick's Day.
Time limit: 1 hour, 15 minute lunch break.

Luckily, I work two blocks from Arden Mall.

First stop, Forever 21. Terrible.
Second stop, some jewelry cart. Score 1 green necklace, 1 pair of green earrings, 3 black bracelets.
Third stop, Ambercrombie and Bitch, not to shop, just to look at the GIGANTIC hot guy in the advertisement in the doorway.
Fourth stop, Express. Score 1 pair of black pants, 1 awesome chain strap black top.
Fifth stop, Apple. Pushing it here, I know. I have been totally unproductive at work and I realized that it is because the battery is dead in my iPod. Score, 1 USB power adapter, 1 dock to usb connector cable.
Sixth stop, parking garage. Move the car closer to Market Square.
Seventh stop, Panda Express. Score the 'chef's creation'. Unknown contents. Tofu and perhaps asparagus...or maybe they are sad green beans...
Eighth, back at work. At my desk with 15 minutes to spare.

I even tried everything on like a good girl.

Pop tarts, cappuccino, and war.

I actually took a bonafide break today at work. I almost never take actual breaks because I have too much to do and too little time to do it. Pop tart and coffee in hand, I sat in the upstairs break room where there is a big flat screen TV always tuned to CNN. Of course, the only thing they are talking about is the US military’s recent ‘campaign’ in Iraq. Operation Swarmer? Who comes up with these names?

Also noted, Bush’s job approval rating is now down to 37%. It got me wondering…what was Saddam’s job approval rating when Bush decided to blow up his country? I have a strong feeling here that it was above 37%. When will some other country take ‘pity’ on us as the US military does for other countries and come in and bomb him? Oh, right, no other head of state is as brash as our own. It makes me sad and ashamed to be an American.

I cut the break short because I just couldn’t watch anymore without getting sniffly and teary-eyed. The front page of this morning’s Sac Bee has pictures of dead kids piled on top of each other in a wagon or something. Seems our military ‘accidentally’ killed them.

U.S., Iraqi Forces Launch Massive Air Assault

BAGHDAD, Iraq -- Military officials say U.S. and Iraqi forces have started the
biggest air assault against militants since the invasion in 2003.
The attack
is being called "Operation Swarmer," according to CNN. The network reported that
it is an attempt not just to go after the insurgents, but to go after those who
are sparking sectarian violence and to try to demonstrate that Iraqi security
forces are really in the field and working together with U.S. forces.
A
statement said more than 1,500 Iraqi and coalition troops are participating in
an attack on suspected militants near Samarra, about 60 miles north of Baghdad.
They're using over 200 tactical vehicles and more than 50 aircraft.
The
military said the operation is expected to last over several days against rebal
targets in the area.

I'm so tired of this fucking country. Can I move now?

3.15.2006

Horoscopes For Today: 3/15/2006
Thinking about how great it would be if
vacation time would suddenly, magically arrive? Well, you do have certain
options: You can arrange for a mini-break in the action -- and if you have
someone who's game to play hooky with you, that might not be such a bad idea.
Aren't you due for a day off, anyway? Hey, your mental health is just as
important as your physical health, so it's just as important to tend to it as
carefully. Go ahead. Call in.

These get emailed to my work email address every morning. Tragic thing because if they were sent to my home email I might actually get the good advice in a timely manner. How can I call in sick when I’m already here. Hmm…I could have some sort of accident, maybe? Papercut infection? Carpel tunnel syndrome? Post traumatic stress? Brain atrophy?

3.14.06

Horoscopes For Today: 3/14/2006
The evening sky will be quite bright, thanks to a lunar eclipse -- a
super-charged full Moon -- and the heavens are brimming over with potential.
That goes double for you, since if anyone can smell opportunity and the chance to jump on it, it's your eager, fiery sign. But if your antennae are telling you to sit still, then sit still. Just for now. No, waiting has never been easy for you, but if winning is the end result, isn't it worth it?

That is easily the most ambiguous horoscope I’ve ever received.

Weekend Review

Horoscopes For Saturday: 3/11/2006
You're about to be on the receiving end of
some really wild news -- all of it positive. Expect the word to arrive from a
higher-up you weren't sure had ever noticed you, and to be amazed to discover
that you definitely haven't been ignored. Once that news sinks in, you may need
to make a decision -- a serious, wonderful decision. Prepare yourself for a
lovely bolt from the blue. Oh, and if it doesn't happen yesterday (when you wish
everything would happen) be patient. It's coming.

Alright, I’m waiting.

Horoscopes For Sunday: 3/12/2006
You've decided to shake off all remnants of
that serious attitude you were recently forced into taking on -- and not a
moment too soon. After all, you're a fire sign, and you have your reputation to
think of. It's time to have some fun, and that is definitely that. Your only
dilemma now will be which charming offer to accept and which to try postponing
until tomorrow -- or until next week, if absolutely necessary. We should all
have such problems.

Right. Sure. I’ll buy this.

Horoscopes For Today: 3/13/2006
It's time to think about what's important to
you -- but then, you don't need to be told that. It's probably been next to
impossible for you to focus on anything else. If there's any way for you to
excuse yourself from situations that might require you to force yourself to act
differently than how you really feel, better make arrangements bright and early
to be unavailable. Oh, and be prepared to handle some tricky joint financial
matters, too.

Amen.

Good Morning

[josh]: Good morning, snook'ems.
[me]: That bitch has been playing Sade all morning and the floor in the living room is vibrating.
[josh]: I'm surprised you know who this is.
[me]: Fuck you.
[josh]: Um, can you get my pants. And some cantelope.

I turn in my chair to get up and go to the living room and stub my toe on the chair. Fall on my face. Good morning.

Apparently the kids had decided to build a fort out of the couch and various parts of the living room while he was sleeping on it so he crawled into my room and passed out. It's one thing to wake up with a stranger in your room, but it's another thing entirely to wake up with someone you know in your room when you know you went to sleep alone.

Last night is a bit blurry.




Not only do I see dead people, I eat them.

Temperance, Shawn, Josh and myself went to Twisted Metal for Cody Bik's art show. Cody is Shawn and Justin's old roommate. It was just warehouse space, so it was about 30 degrees. I ate all the grapes, cheese, and crackers that I could find. Had some not so great wine and moved on to the beer.


From start to finish?

Eventually, we left and went to one of Temperance's friends parties. At first she made us stay outside while she went in, which sort of started the whole night off wierd. I still don't know why. When we were given the clear to go in we headed back to the food and basically stayed their the whole time.



Shawn was disappointed that there were no games on my phone and changed all my ringtones.

A woman named Lisa befriended Josh and seemed to be trying to get him drunk. She made a cosmo for him in a gigantic christmas coffee mug that was all vodka and no crananything. She made one for me too, but gave me some 'splash' which I specifically didn't want because it has mangos in it. I drank it anyway.

At some point we decided to go try and find Alex. Her phone has been busy all day long. We drive over to Old Tavern and of course don't find her.





We are standing outside on the patio when a guy comes stumbling up to me and introduces himself as George.

George is really drunk.

[george] to josh: Is that your girl?
[josh] laughing: No, she ain't my girl.
[george]: ah that's cool man
Cheers all around.

[george] to shawn: Who are you to Stephanie?
[shawn]: I'm Stephanie's friend.
[george]: who?
[shawn]: her friend?!
Cheers again.

[george] to josh: So, is she like your sister or something, man? Cuz you look at her like you care, you know?
[josh] laughingly: Yeah, she's my sister. I'd kill people for her. I'd die for her.

George got into a fight a few minutes later and was thrown out of the bar.

We go back to the party, no Alex in sight, of course. Later Shawn and Temperance dropped Josh and I off at our car, we went home and at this point inspiration struck Josh.

"I've got two packages of Black Cats in my backpack!"





We ended up lighting these off on top of the fence across the street. I live in Oak Park, so not only did no one notice a thousand firecrackers going off at 3:30 am, but no one would have cared anyway. We hid behind my fence on the off chance that someone was going to come out and shoot us, but nothing happened.

Rather anti-climatic.

We tried to stay up longer watching Aeon Flux but I only last about 5 minutes before I started passing out and he woke me up and told me to go to bed. (I was infringing on his couch space?! It's my fucking couch!)

I supposed I should get dressed so I can take him home and clean the house back up again. I don't know how we manage to trash it in 2 hours, but we do.

The Third Floor Dwellers

Yesterday I got reamed at work for not having a particular project completed. This project involves moving approximately 3700 boxes full of documents from our warehouse vendor, Iron Mountain, to a room we designed downstairs full of racks of shelving. The boxes supposedly weigh 30-40 pounds but I think that is a low estimate for some of them. I am supposed to order the boxes from the warehouse, review their contents, and somehow fit them all onto the shelves, and data enter the descriptions, destruction dates, etc into the nifty new system we got. I cannot explain to you how the shelving is set up, but I can say that it is designed for maximum occupancy, not ease of use. It is –really- difficult to put the boxes on the shelves (particularly since I can’t reach high enough and still don’t have a ladder) and it is even more difficult to remove things from the shelves when someone needs them. And if you don’t know me in person, I might add that I am a rather tiny person. I’m 5’4” and weigh 110 lbs on a layered clothing day. I’m not really built to be lifting hundreds of boxes a day although I have to say I’m now in better shape than ever. (Mental note: is this why my arm is still twitching?)

Anyway, yesterday they tell me they are upset that this project isn’t completed. I tell them to clone me because I cannot do all the things that are a part of my daily functions –and- spend an entire day moving boxes. Their response is to give me an April 1st deadline. I know that this is sincerely not possible at all. Even if I didn’t do any other work and just lifted boxes all day long for the rest of the month, I don’t think that the warehouse has the means to deliver all the boxes to my office in such a short time. Also, I’m taking about a week of vacation at the end of the month and we still aren’t allowed to work overtime. Regardless, I will attempt to do my best.

This morning I loaded up the big blue cart thing with boxes to take downstairs. I took about 4 loads of boxes (one was a half load because I stole a small ladder from the records room and hid it between the boxes on the cart so that I could maybe, just maybe reach the higher shelves). On my final trip back upstairs with the cart a lady from the third floor gets on the elevator with me. At this point, I am tired and sweaty. I’m listening to my iPod which if I was someone looking at me I would take as a hint towards no conversation. She does not.

[her]: So, are you going to have a good day?
[me, as I gesture down at the cart]: Of course, it’s only 8 something in the morning and I’m already doing this.
[her]: Ah, you’re already out with your little friend.

I think for a moment here and realize she is referring to the cart. I then have the urge to stab her in the eyeball for making such a stupid comment so early in the morning. Realizing the repercussions of this, I just stare at her instead.

It’s only 9 am and this is the direction my day is already headed.

3.10.06

Horoscopes For Today: 3/10/2006
You spent quite a bit of your hard-earned
money last month -- but it was Valentine's Day, and we all tend to get a little
crazy around then. It's only surprising that you didn't get crazier and spend
even more than you did. You've just realized that the one thing you didn't buy
was something you really, actually need for yourself -- because the time just
didn't seem right. Well, sit down with your pad and paper, and maybe you can
work it out.

I spent a few thousand dollars last month, mostly on ‘stuff’ and travel. I didn’t really need the ‘stuff’ but I needed the travel. I’m glad I did it, and overall it was way cheaper than I expected (thanks to not having to get hotel rooms!)

So what’s next? The Coachella Valley Music Festival. I’m budgeting, scrimping, saving. The tickets are no problem and are the least of my worries. Finding a place to stay and not wanting to drive down there are the two main concerns now. Several friends have said they are going and ‘theoretically’ I could ride with them and ‘possibly’ stay with them. But they wait until the last minute and for the last two years haven’t gone when they said they were. For this reason, I’ve held back on getting the tickets for now. When I see their receipt I’ll get my tickets. Hopefully, the rest will all fall in to place; it usually does.

Ghetto Lovin'

I went home for lunch today so I could eat in peace and quiet. When I left the house one of my neighbor’s friends was peering over my fence looking at me while I was locking the front door.

[him to a friend]: Heeeeey, she’s hella cute.

He stops peeking over the fence and walks out to the street.
I walk out through the yard to the street where my car is parked, wondering how to avoid this.

[him to me]: Heeey, you’re a hella cute woman. I like cute women.
[me]: Thanks.

I start to unlock my car door.

[him to me]: What? You don’t like men? You got a girlfriend or somethin’?
[me]: No, I gotta go.

I drive off quickly.

I wanted to say, “No, I like men but you are a five foot tall gangster kid with gold teeth and ridiculous looking chains around your neck.”

I could have, but he probably would have shot me.

3.9.2006

Horoscopes For Today: 3/9/2006
You've been on a roll, and it's been great fun, hasn't it? You've been working hard, playing hard and being easy to get along with -- especially since you've been able to get the results you've wanted. You're still feeling mellow, but you'll need to be a bit more assertive today. It's okay. It's about time for your loved ones to see a bit of that charming, fiery personality. Right about now, they may be scratching their heads.

Does this mean it’s time to turn on ‘the bitch’?
For those of you that missed it, and I know there are none of you, I am just as neurotic as ever, I’m just hiding it better.

For example: My car smells like ass and rotten milk. A drunk guy knocked over someone’s coffee drink (not sure what it was) in the back seat of my car. I didn’t know until several days later when it started to smell bad. A friend had suggested taking coffee grounds and rubbing them in the carpet to make it smell better. I blew the idea off at the time but yesterday when I went to the Post Office to check my mail I received a package from Java City in the mail. When I went to my stinky ass car and opened the package there were coffee grounds inside. (Yeah, I don’t know why.) I took this as a sign to deodorize my car and did so right in the parking lot at the Post Office. Now I have to remember to vacuum it all up…

Today, when I came to work and immediately started sneezing I realized that I am in fact allergic to this job. I quickly stripped my entire cubicle and shelving and dusted and scrubbed it down until…well, just now. I still want to sneeze, but at least it is clean. Some people were curious though, as I tossed all my belongings in the garbage (using the theory that if I hadn’t touched it in over a month then I probably don’t need it), if I had finally decided to quit.

Turettes?

The muscle in my arm is still twitching. It has been 4 or 5 days now since it started. My coworkers are telling me that I should go to the doctor but I would feel sort of stupid even making an appointment for that. I went to the raddest website for hypochondriacs, Diagnose-Me.com to figure it out.

It seems I could have Turettes or perhaps Parkinson's disease. It really could be one of many different neurological disorders. I'm not sure how long I should let it go on before I bother to call the doctor about it. I'm not sure if he would care, really. I have been his patient for many, many years now and I have never actually seen him. I call in and ask for prescriptions (for migraine medicine) which he used to fill without question. Eventually, he told me I'd have to be seen at least once before he could fill it anymore. I never went.

Number one on the list of things to relieve my arm twitching is marjiuana. Too bad I don't do drugs. Also on the list are different tricyclic anti-depressants. Nice.

03.08.06

Horoscopes For Today: 3/8/2006
In addition to the adoring attentions of your current squeeze, an exotic new admirer has come along, obviously hoping for a shot at the title. You love competition, so naturally, you've mentioned one to the other -- casually, of course -- just to see how quickly you can get the games to begin. Bet it won't take much. If you're not truly interested in either one, however, don't let it go on for too long.


Meh...let the games begin?

Miracle on 36th Street?

I live in a crappy neighborhood. Everyone is pretty much hardcore ghetto-fabulous out here.

However...a few minutes ago when I pulled up in front of my house I saw this beauty.

Even my most ghetto neighbors were outside looking at it and calling their friends. It's by far the 'brightest' rainbow I've ever seen.




It's nice to have a bit of something nice on a day like today.

Responsibilities

The past few months have been filled with excess and lack of responsibility. I'm basically ok with that. So far, no harm has really come to anyone but it is starting to catch up with me.

For instance, Aislin can't go to pre-school tomorrow because I forgot to pay the bill. I have the money, I just never got around to paying for it. In fact, I finally dug though this pile of 'stuff' on the floor at the foot of my 'bed' and found a whole stack of unopened mail. I have a bad habit of only going to the post office when I know that I have netflix on the way and never bothering to open any of the other mail until it's too late. It generally goes untouched on the floor, desk, dresser, in my glovebox, and once in the refrigerator.

So, tonight I'm going to try and pay a bill or two. Just for kicks, you know. I did manage to finally mail my rent out today. It's late, but at least I finally mailed it. It had been sitting in the bottom of my purse for three or four days already stamped and ready to go.

To make things more difficult, tonight at the laundry mat I found a surprise in the dryer. My ATM card. The numbers had melted flat into the plastic card. I'm guessing that since it is totally warped that it isn't going to work anymore. Have to try to remember to call the bank tomorrow for another one. In the meantime I have another ATM card for another bank with some funds stashed away.

I've had a wierd muscle spasm in my right biceps that has lasted for three days now. It's sad that I'm almost getting used to it. It doesn't hurt, just twitches constantly. Can I count it as a workout? Also, in relation to my arm, today I got a TB test. I hadn't had one since 1994 and I had to get one for livescan testing. The test has certainly changed since I last got one. Before they just poked you with this little tack and told you to call if your arm does something funny within three days. Now the test involves an actual needle and fluid. It didn't help things that my arm was twitching and she wouldn't use my left arm. Then after she had sterilized the area with alcohol a doctor walked in and stopped her saying 'Whoa, little high there girl, don't you think?" Apparently he thought she was headed right for a vein, which she wasn't. She was doing it perfectly fine. Since he touched my arm, the area was contaminated and she started bitching at him. He kept telling her to just swap out the needle. He didn't understand that all he had contaminated was my skin. She just sterilized it again and jabbed the little needle under my skin then pumped it full of fluid. It was gross. It's not an intramuscular injection, it just sits directly under your skin. So I walked out with this bleeding hole in my arm which had a spot swollen to the size of a dime with fluid. And the doctor wouldn't let me have a bandaid.

The things I do for my kids. I have to go back Thursday for them to look at it and get my results. I'm kinda freaked out because even though I can rationalize that I don't have TB, my mom DID have it. And survived it. If I get it, I'm going to only refer to it as consumption because it sounds so much more romantic.

And in the romance category...depression. Robert called out of the blue yesterday and left a lengthy message of nothing. I haven't got the emotional energy left to call him back. I miss him and I don't want to start talking to him and end up missing him more. He likes boys with nice eyebrows. He lives 400 miles away. He makes me sigh.

I still have to mail his clothes back.

I found my cell phone in my car. I have a million missed calls that I haven't returned.

I keep making typo errors and I'm going to blame them all on my nervous arm twitch.

I'm tired but I know there is something that I forgot to do tonight. I have no idea what, just a nagging feeling. I need some down time. I know I keep saying it and not doing it but I think if I don't that I will end up completely ruining my life. I am never home anymore, which is fine because I basically hate my house. I feel stir crazy when I am here. In fact, Sacramento is shrinking on me and I feel the constant need to travel.

When Lhiannan goes on spring break I'm just going to take her to the Bay Area on Amtrak because I don't want to risk driving my car even that far right now. Instead of coming right back maybe I'll disappear into the city for awhile. Who knows. I'm feeling half-way lost and wanting to be all the way lost.

Maybe this is all work related blues. My job sucks. The company I work for sucks even more. The fire alarm went off last week (the day after the layoff announcement) and we all had to shuffle out of the building. On the way out I noticed fire doors that were locked that I had never seen before. Once outside I envisioned that this was the way everyone would go. They pull the fire alarm, get us all outside, then lock the doors and start distributing final paychecks.

This didn't happen of course. Kayte and I sat around watching an episode of "the office" on my iPod while the fire department passed our building about 4 times and finally came in and did nothing and we all shuffled back inside.

3.6.2006

Horoscopes For Today: 3/6/2006
You may not wake up this morning expecting a surprise, but there's definitely one on the agenda. Fortunately, surprises are right at the top of your top ten list of very favorite things, so you won't mind one little bit. If your companions aren't quite so adaptable, be merciful; help
them adjust. Point out the positive points in the situation, and get them to relax. In the process, you may find you've suddenly become a mentor.

I’ll pass on the surprise for the day if you don’t mind. I’ve had enough surprises this weekend to last me quite awhile. Additionally, I certainly don’t have the qualifications required to be anyone’s mentor. I could be a good example of what not to do in life however.

Oops, did I leave your ass in the middle of the street?

Tonight started out very well and ended up complete crap. No amount of drinking put a positive spin on the evening (or a dent in my sobriety). Josh and I went to Benny's. We met up with Danny and his boy who's name I can't remember...Danbo was trashed but he gave me his jacket which was warm and fluffy. Benny's has turned into some kind of college bar now and so we didn't stay long. I did run into Johnny, and was shocked all to hell. We did the uncomfortable hug and I stepped away. He came up to me a few minutes later and said he was leaving and would come back because we needed to talk. Mmk.

I never saw him again tonight.

We left Benny's and headed over to Club 21 for Confusion. Not too many people there. Danbo and I danced to one of my favorite songs (which would have been cool if he wasn't so drunk that he couldn't actually dance.) In the end he ended up nearly strangling me with my own scarf on the dance floor. Ran into Jovan and got invited to an after party at his place. Then...we go outside and Danbo ends up getting us all kicked out by smacking the security guard in the forehead with his ID. Nice.

We drive around and end up at Old Town Tavern to kill time between then and the party. It sucked. I got to watch Danbo and his boy argue back and forth and once again we almost get kicked out.

We leave. Danbo tries to by drugs from people who say they want to kill him. I drag him to the car. Johnny's brother? is supposed to follow us to the party at Jovan's house. I remind him of the alphabet and tell him there is no reason to follow me. A, B, C...1,2,3...downtown is easy...

We get to Jovan's house and park because it is still too early. Josh and I are arguing because he left my car window rolled down with my iPod sitting on the front seat (thanks, jerk) and Danbo and his boy are fighting because Danbo is drunk and dude isn't feeling well and has wanted to go home all night.

At some point while driving Danbo smacks Josh in the ear and they start to try and fight. I stop the car in the middle of the street and tell everyone to get out so I can just go home in peace. They come to some kind of mutual agreement, but at this point I give up and drive them to their car.

Josh and I are about to head back to Jovan's when Christina calls and tells us to meet her at a party at 15th and H. No clue who's house it is, but she is there. We go. I'm guessing it was a cool party but at this point I was tired and annoyed and really just wanted to go to bed. I had to pee so bad I thought my kidney's might break out of my skin but some fucks were in the bathroom doing something...

I try to relax anyway. Becky convinces me to take a shot of Jack Daniels. I do but it grosses me out. Less than 20 minutes later the place is starting to empty out and I'm bored and just want to leave. Josh keeps making excuses to stay. Finally when we are supposed to actually leave he goes back in for something and I just tell him I'm going to the car. I waited about 5 minutes before my patience expired and I left him there.

Now, I feel a little bit guilty. I'm assuming he was going to stay here tonight, but he has no money and no way to get here. Hopefully he will figure it out. I can't babysit everyone all the time. I should probably just go to bed. Tomorrow if he hasn't figured out a way back I'll start calling the jails.

I'm a shitty friend.

The way I see it #76

For me a small amount of routine is necessary. I know, it’s ‘out-of-character’ but I have to have something go the same everyday. This way at least I know one thing went right. The only routine that is mine, and mine alone (meaning that I do not do this for the benefit of anyone else, kids for example) is that every morning, without fail, I hit Starbucks at 19th and Jst sometime between 7:30 am and 7:45 am. Everyday. (Stephanie without her coffee in the morning is dangerous. I develop terrible headaches and grumpiness). I love this place because I have been going there every morning for …maybe three years? I don’t have to bother to order. They know what I want. They have never given me problems because I order a strange drink. I take that back, the new people that filter in and out every now and then do indeed question why I would ask for whipped cream to be put on top of a cappuccino. “But, you’ll squish the foam and then it’s not a cappuccino” they say. I don’t care, it’s my three dollars and you make it my way. I need that itty bitty tiny amount of sweetness that a dollop of whip cream brings.

Sorry for the rant. Anyway. They have started putting these little inspirational messages on the cups. Usually they are pretty stupid. Today’s was great, so I’m sharing it with you all. Go get a cup of coffee already. Tip well.


The Way I See It #76

The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating – in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.

--Anne Morriss, Starbucks customer from NYC.

03.03.2006

Horoscopes For Today: 3/3/2006
It's not like you to hold back when you have
something to say. In fact, it's so completely out of character that when you do,
your friends start asking who you are and what you've done with the person they
know. They'll start asking that question now, mostly because every time a
certain subject comes up, you'll refuse to discuss it. Why put them through
this? Give up the goods. You know you want to.

I hate that I have a ‘character’. So instead of giving up the goods in order to stay ‘in character’ I will leave things as is. Mums the word, even if I don’t know what I refuse to discuss…yet.

3.2.06

Horoscopes For Today: 3/2/2006
You've played your cards close your chest for a while now, taking care to maintain your privacy. Better keep that up, because the heavens have arranged an opportunity for you to take a risk -- and to issue a challenge. For the next three weeks, a secret tryst will be possible. Think you're ready? Are they?

Hmm...

Sugar Coating

From Joe San Filippo
President & COO
Nationwide Health Plans


In California yesterday, we announced plans for the consolidation and reduction of several functions within Nationwide Health Plans. These changes are necessary to address the financial challenges we are facing due to losses in our health business. Last month in my associate newsletter, I noted some of these challenges:
We experienced losses last year on the Farm Bureau plans in both Ohio and California, causing us to take significant rating actions in both states. Rate increases and numerous plan design changes will continue in 2006 in an effort to return to profitability.
The California small group business grew much faster than anticipated and began to generate substantial losses, which have increased to more than $1 million a month. These losses need to be addressed at this time to ensure the survival of our company.

The key elements of our plan include reducing the overhead expenses associated with administering the Farm Bureau health insurance plans in both Ohio and California and reducing our exposure in the California small group health brands by 40 percent.

Our plan impacts the following departments and functions:
Sales/Marketing - reorganized department (this reorganization was announced and implemented earlier this year).
Medical Management - reduced services and staff in Ohio (already complete).
Call Center & Operations - consolidating call center operations and claims processing from California to Ohio.
Provider Maintenance - consolidating provider maintenance in Ohio.
Finance- realigning audit anti-fraud and accounting support.
Rate Increases - enforcing significant rate increases and eliminating commissions on self-funded accounts.
Product Portfolio - refocusing our product portfolio within our health business by discontinuing some of the products (e.g. richer benefit plans and employer groups larger than 100 lives) that do not line up with the strategy of focusing on small employers and products to support high-deductible health plans.

These changes affect approximately 16 percent of our associates and, while difficult, are necessary steps for us to take in improving our overall profitability. Job eliminations are an unfortunate consequence of a challenging market environment. All associates who are impacted by this plan will be eligible to receive severance and benefits packages.

This plan helps us focus on our new strategic direction as a national provider of solutions focused on reducing health insurance and workers’ compensation costs for individuals and employers within the following areas:
Small Commercial Strategy – assist employers with solutions to reduce health care costs.
Worksite Offerings – incorporate our company’s special risks insurance products into the health and productivity business model.
MCO and State Fund – increase our market share, based on the number of employers signed up during the open enrollment period.
Consumer Directed Health Plans – continued support around our Farm Bureau relationships.

I encourage you to meet with your manager and human resources representative on how this plan affects you personally. We will continue to share details with you about our new strategic direction.