That burning love...

Is like a bad rash. It's ok though, because today I learned all about butt paste. "It's not just for rashes anymore."

Anyway. Forgive me, I'm sleepy.

Last night we had a big master plan that involved shoe shopping, laundry and Ikea. Shoe shopping was completed but when we came home and found that my ex had left crap on my doorstep the rest of the night was sort of derailed. Why? What better occasion for a bonfire? The catch was that I didn't have any place to burn the stuff. This is why myspace is handy.

I posted this:

I need a fireplace, grill, or bar-b-que ASAP. Anyone have one they are will to let me burn stuff in? Paper goods only...

Which surprisingly lead to the most hilarious replies. They've continued on through the day today. Such as...

Jesse (recently moved back to NY):
I have one... wait... getting it here might be a hassle. haha

Tim (way out in Rocklin):
heya i have a bbq , fireplace burn pit if you still need

Doug (far away)
what do y9ou need to burn? i live out of the city. i have a small bbq. hope you are staying warm. it is cold in these hills

doug

Jer (retarded)
just have a bonfire in your sink.... haha

My own daddy!:
Steff, burning for what ? Just for disposal, or heat,,,,,
If you need stuff just dumped, I can pick up whatever, in the truck, we have half a dozen big dumpsters over here. If you just need a bbq or something, I'll pick up one for ya.

Saul:
Good lord!! Have you gone nuts and plan to burn all of records!! Actually thats not really nuts just wise.

Don:
I've got a fireplace, just call.

Don

And my favorite, the funniest

Michael:
are you gonna dance around it in some crazy ritual? if you di that's cool. i'm immune to cooties or bad mojo because when i was six yrs. old i called blackout forever so i think i'm still covered... cause you know, it's forever.
are you burning like your ex's clothes? i wear 34 in waist.
ok bye

In the end though, Jonathan came through:
Hi, I had no idea that you were a pyro. Egads, what are you wanting to burn?

And we both set much ex-related stuff on fire in his bbq while neighbors in bright red robes questioned our sanity.








And for the record, no I have no idea why he decided to bring back the things he did. I really don't want to know. Attention seeking, I suppose. It's not like they were things to return. We are talking about things like...christmas cards. You don't return cards to people, you throw them away. It's just dumb. But it was a good excuse for a bonfire.
Thank you all so much for caring. I was surprised! A million bajillion thanks to Jon for obvious reasons. Thank you for not letting me take my own advice!