Ghetto Lovin'

I went home for lunch today so I could eat in peace and quiet. When I left the house one of my neighbor’s friends was peering over my fence looking at me while I was locking the front door.

[him to a friend]: Heeeeey, she’s hella cute.

He stops peeking over the fence and walks out to the street.
I walk out through the yard to the street where my car is parked, wondering how to avoid this.

[him to me]: Heeey, you’re a hella cute woman. I like cute women.
[me]: Thanks.

I start to unlock my car door.

[him to me]: What? You don’t like men? You got a girlfriend or somethin’?
[me]: No, I gotta go.

I drive off quickly.

I wanted to say, “No, I like men but you are a five foot tall gangster kid with gold teeth and ridiculous looking chains around your neck.”

I could have, but he probably would have shot me.