This is a hard one

I've just finished watching In the Realm of The Senses. An hour into it I started crying and that didn't stop until right about now (20 minutes post viewing) because then I started vomiting. My, I'm a sensitive girl. For obvious reasons, I can't say too much specifically about why this movie so affected me. Those of you who have stuck with me for the last two and a half years of my life, my best friends, would understand and know and I take comfort enough in that because that is all I can do. I know I've been moody and have blamed most of it on the weather or anything else that I can find to complain about, but this..."situation" has been on my mind the past week for no real specific reason. I'm sure this too will pass, it has definitely been long enough.

The moral of the story is unclear. Perhaps: a relationship built on obsession and sex can only end one way. Even if it doesn't, I can tell you that it is like heroin and in the end you may at the very least wish you were dead for lack of it.

I urge you all to look up Abe Sada and Kichizo Ishida -- In the Realm of the Senses is a true story.

My parting words: I wish he would have beat me, because then I would have known how to fight back.