Day 5 - Cannibalism Day

Today eat part of a loved one.

To start with I looked up some cannibalistic recipes and found the following on this website:

Marinated Leg of Person

1 leg, about 3 kilos
6 cups dry cider
1 kilo carrots, sliced thinly
8 medium onions, sliced thinly
16 juniper berries
8 leaves sage, chopped
1/2 cup butter
2 whole nutmegs, grated
salt and pepper to taste

Combine half each of the cider, nutmeg and sage with 2 of the onions, the juniper berries and salt and pepper to taste. Cut the leg into slices about 1 cm. thick and over these pour the marinade. Refrigerate, covered, for 36 - 48 hours, turning the meat occasionally.

Remove the meat from the marinade and dry with toweling. Strain the marinade and to this add the remaining cider.

In a large flameproof casserole melt the butter and, over a high flame, brown the meat slices on both sides. Remove the slices, lower the flame and add the remaining onions and the carrots, cooking until the onions are softened. Pour in the marinade and bring to a boil. Add the remaining seasonings, replace the venison, cover and place in a medium oven for 1 1/2 hours. Serve hot directly from the casserole. Serves 6 - 8.

Person Stew

1 shoulder of person, about 2 1/2 kilo), dressed and cut into serving pieces
1 bottle dry red wine
1 cup olive oil
1/2 cup red wine vinegar
6 Tbsp. each bacon fat and flour
2 large onions, chopped coarsely
1 large carrot, chopped coarsely
3 stalks celery, chopped coarsely
3 cloves garlic, chopped finely
6 shallots, chopped coarsely
12 juniper berries
12 whole peppercorns
2 whole cloves
2 bay leaves, crushed
2 Tbsp. parsley, chopped
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. each thyme, oregano, basil and rosemary
salt, black pepper and cayenne pepper to taste

In a saucepan combine the wine, wine vinegar, olive oil, onions, carrot, shallots, celery, garlic, cloves and all of the herbs and spices. Bring just to a boil, immediately lower the flame and simmer for about 10 - 12 minutes. Remove from the flame and let cool for 1/2 hour.

Put the cup-up shoulder and giblets in a ceramic bowl and pour over the marinade. Marinate, covered, in the refrigerator for 2 - 3 days, turning the meat several times each day.

Remove the meat from the marinade and dry on toweling. Strain and reserve the marinade.

Sprinkle the meat with salt, pepper and cayenne pepper to taste. In a skillet melt the bacon fat and in this brown the meat, slowly on all sides. Sprinkle over with flour, stir and continue to saute until the flour is absorbed and turns light brown. Add the strained marinade and simmer, covered until the meat is tender (45 - 60 minutes). Correct the seasoning, simmer for 5 minutes longer and serve hot. Serves 6.

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Now, that is really, really alot of work. Removing a leg or shoulder from a family member would be really difficult and messy. Not to mention the legality of the whole thing. AND I'm a vegetarian so if eating the flesh of any other animal is taboo to me you can imagine what I think of human flesh. But, I am determined. So...here was my own reciped.

Little Girl Fingernails

First - Preparations:
Kids hands and kids in general are pretty dirty. First, get a nail brush and SCRUB those things with antibacterial soap. Be particular about getting underneath the nail. I repeat, kids are gross and dirty. Many spend half the day picking their nose and scratching their butts without ever thinking of washing. Spend at least 5 full minutes scrubbing. Since girls fingers are nicer, make sure that there is no fingernail polish on the nail. If necessary use acetone to remove. Dont' forget to wash again afterwards if you use nail polish remover (acetone).

When the fingers and nail beds start turning nice and pink (make sure you use really hot water. They will scream but it is worth it, trust me) go ahead and get your favorite flavored ice cream syrup toppings like chocolate, caramel, or strawberry and pour a small amount into a bowl.

Dip fingers into syrup bite into those nails! You may need to use a tearing motion with your teeth. Be mindful of hangnails and those other fleshy bits.

Bon Appetit!