Who? Me?

After a few concerned messages and phone calls from various people who either read my blog here or on myspace I've decided that I need a disclaimer. And here it is...a little about me.

To start with, I'm pretty much crazy. Not like 'oo boy that girls crazeee'. Think darker thoughts. My entire life is a series of HUGE ups and downs. It's -almost- like a roller coaster ride. You wait and wait and wait in line all the while getting more and more nervous the closer you get. Then you're up next and you put on that brave face and strap yourself in and the roller coast car lurches away and zooms you around then speeds up and flips around and does stuff to make you vomit your corn dog all over yourself? Well, the only difference is that a roller coaster ride, if you bothered to time it, is over really quickly. Just a few minutes if that. For me, it just keeps on going.

So here is me:

I look pretty darn happy, eh?

I am a single parent of two beautiful children of two different fathers. The oldest visits her 'new family' (read: dad and new wife + new kids) in San Jose during school vacations. The youngest pretty much never sees hers although he says he is working on it. I've taught them, correctly I hope, that the only people that the three of us are ever going to be able to rely on are each other. No one else. I also am still hoping that despite Lhiannan's (age 9) crush on the Sprouse twins and Aislin's (age 4) recent attachment to 'makeup' and her new boyfriend Nathan Brenner (never just Nathan mind you, always Nathan Brenner) that they will grow up to be happy lesbians so I don't have to worry about 'accidentally' becoming a grandmother too soon.



I have a boyfriend. I won't lie to you and tell you that it is all roses and sweetness and light because you all already know better based on previous posts, comments, and whatever. I would say that on average we have 'broken up' about once a week during the (almost) two years that we have been dating. I will OFTEN vent my frustrations about this relationship everywhere I can to whoever will listen. The best thing you can do is ignore it like the passive passerby that you probably are. I do still love him and despite everything there is clearly some fated reason that I am still with him even if I forget what it is and demand a reminder every now and then. Shit happens I guess? So for those of you asking about recent events...just ignore it like everything else; I'm trying to. We are going through some stage...I don't know what it is. If we were married I would say it is that point where you need marriage counseling; the point where your friends won't hang out with you together and your kids start getting concerned.. But we are just dating and marriage won't be in our future (another topic I will occasionally rant about -- just deal with it...) so it is an akward (is that really how you spell that?!) topic for most of my friends to discuss with me, let alone strangers as they think it is a really wierd relationship. In any event -- just leave me alone about it. Support me for what I do to try to be happy and I will consider you the best of friends.



I think that is probably all you need to know for now....